


i was the best man in a size too small

by sajere1



Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Asexual Character, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:55:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23515786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sajere1/pseuds/sajere1
Summary: At Fig and Ayda's wedding, Fabian is forced to confront the fact that, no, going on his big adventures has not made Riz less hot. Or funny. Or cute.Or not interested.
Relationships: Ayda Aguefort/Figueroth Faeth, Riz Gukgak/Fabian Aramais Seacaster
Comments: 10
Kudos: 204





	i was the best man in a size too small

“I have a confession to make,” Adaine says. “I really thought you two would break up after a month.”

Fig – all dressed up in her stylized suit, leggings rather than pants, a top hat teetered precariously around her horns – gasps, mocks offended beneath her giggling. Next to her, Ayda thoughtfully considers the statement for a moment, leans over, and whispers something that makes Fig fully break into laughter. Standing at the front of the crowd, clinging a little too tight, Adaine smiles over the microphone and looks shakily back to her notes.

“She’s right,” Kristen mutters, across the table from where Fabian has been vibrating outside of his body for the last hour and a half. Gorgug nods solemnly. “Nobody else has had shit last from high school.”

Fabian does not say anything. He is physically incapable of doing so. He is too busy frantically trying to not look at his not-date, who he has not seen in a year, and who has been giving him strange looks all night.

“Honestly, it’s kind of a relief,” Riz says, and Fabian can hear the grin and – Riz’s voice has gotten deeper somehow, since they last saw each other, not a lot but this throaty sort of gravitas he’s gained over time. Fabian focuses very hard on Adaine’s speech, which he is definitely paying attention to. “I used to be so worried about you all abandoning me every time you saw a hot person. Makes life a lot easier to know you’ll come back eventually.”

Kristen says something, but Fabian is not paying attention, because Gorgug has noticed. Gorgug is too smart, now, too insightful, just like he always fucking has been even when he didn’t know, and he is squinting at Fabian because he Knows. Because everybody knows. Except Riz, who knows everything, except this.

It’s not like Fabian hasn’t thought about just – confessing. But every time he thinks about it, he thinks about Riz, huddled up under blankets in junior year, whispering that he didn’t know how to feel the way all of his friends felt about other people, about how scared and lonely he was, thinking everyone would leave him. And Fabian – whose heart was already pounding every time Riz came near him, who had finally sorted out the complicated knot of his tongue every time he saw Riz since he disappeared at the start of sophomore spring break, who had finally inched towards something like a realization – Fabian couldn’t, wouldn’t, make that harder on Riz. Not for a stupid high school crush.

Which has now been ongoing for five years.

Yikes.

Every time Fabian goes away for his massive adventures he figures this’ll be the time, that he’ll come back and look at Riz and will feel the great natural platonic way he’s fucking supposed to. And every time he finds some gorgeous halfling or orc or elf at a bar, he closes his eyes and pretends that there’s beard burn on his thighs, that he recognizes the laugh, the skin. And every time he comes home and Riz has grown out his scruff a little, has done his hair a new way, is – wearing a suit that has been fucking tailored to him, and fuck knows why he’s doing that but god is it clinging.

‘We should go to this wedding as friends! That’ll prove that I’m over him!’ Fucking idiot.

“Hmmm,” Gorgug says, because Gorgug is the worst best friend Fabian has. Fabian uses his fork to push his cake around. Not for any reason. He just wants to.

Luckily, Adaine’s speech wraps up, and she steps down to polite applause (led by Aelwen drunkenly shouting “FUCK yeah, that’s my SISTER, bitch!”). The moment that she’s fully seated, Fig rushes up, grabs the mic, hollers, “Are you ready to rock?!”, dips Ayda, and fully makes out with her as the first notes of Rebel Girl burst out from the speakers.

“I thought it was gonna be Only Straight Girls Wear Dresses,” Gorgug blinks.

Adaine rearranges herself to get comfortable in her seat, glancing over at the dance floor with mild interest. “Ayda found out at the last minute a child is attending. Some changes were made.”

“Doesn’t Rebel Girl have ‘dyke’ in it, too?” Kristen says.

Adaine shrugs. “I didn’t say they were well thought out changes.”

It doesn’t take long for Ayda and Fig to turn their makeout into some sort of weird mixture of traditional dancing and moshing. Fabian is so caught up in it that he almost forgets to feel stupid for a second, eyebrows inching up his face as Fig does a full split.

It’s only because his attention is distracted that he doesn’t jump when a hand rests ginger, on his arm – doesn’t question it when he turns to look down at Riz. “What’s up?” he says, before his brain catches up to the fact that Riz is clean shaven (which is just as hot as the beard god dammit), and has his glasses on, and has discarded his jacket over his chair and pushed up his sleeves and that his shirt and suspenders are cinched close to the fucking triangle of his waist, hair carefully done and grin toothy.

He tries to keep himself from stiffening up, but Riz catches it – narrows his eyes and clings a little tighter, so that Fabian can’t pull away. “…you’ve been acting weird,” Riz says.

Oh god. Oh no oh god oh no. “Uuuuuuuh,” Fabian says, expertly diverting the topic. “Uuuuuuuuuuuuh,” he says a little louder when this does not make Riz let go.

Riz’s face is some mixture of concerned and irritated. It’s so stupid that Fabian loves the way Riz looks when he’s pissed – love the little wrinkle between his brows, the purse of his lips. “I – “ he starts, and then falters, looks away, heaves a sigh. The song is fading out – Kristen is mockingly offering Adaine her hand, leading her giggling onto the dance floor as a more traditional song starts up, Garthy and Ayda on one side of the dance floor, Fig and Gilear on the other, Fig ushering her many other parents and every other party guest along, because tradition is for suckers. “You just haven’t – you’ve been ignoring me,” he settles on.

The misery in his voice makes Fabian’s heart stop. “I’m sorry,” he says before he can stop himself, hurried and sincere. “I, um, it’s not – it’s not you, it’s just – “

It’s just it is you, and has always been you, and maybe always will be you, but it’s not you, it’s not, it’s me –

Riz has pulled his hand back, staring blank at the plate. “I just – “ he swallows, shifting a little uncomfortable in his chair. “I was – you’ve been gone for a really long time, and you never called, and I just – I really tried to look fancy, for this, so that, when you, uh, got here – “

“You – “ Fabian’s brain screeches to a stop. “You – got your suit tailored for me?”

Riz glances up. “You noticed that - ? Oh. Um. Yeah.”

Riz is blushing. Riz is – embarrassed, to be caught in caring, and Fabian cannot let that stand. “I notice everything about you,” he blurts out, and then realizes what he said. “I mean,” he hurries, “I, uh, I just – it was, um, you’ve never before, so I – I thought – “

Riz frowns and looks at him, like the way Riz looks at puzzles, and Fabian’s heart is in his fucking throat, how to be honest enough that Riz knows he cares without being Honest honest, how to slide past his stupid bonkers insight. “I – “ Fabian pushes his cake around a little more. “I just – “ He stops. Swallows. “…I think about you all the time, man,” he admits, a little shakily. “And I just – I don’t know. I always figure I’ll come back and you’ll be, like, done with me.”

There’s a moment of quiet (well, relative quiet; Joan Jett is playing) as Riz contemplates this.

A thumb gently brushes over Fabian’s knuckles. “Hey,” Riz says, voice soft, and when Fabian looks up his face is flushed again, watching Fabian, eyes wide and gorgeous and it’s been five fucking years, it’s been five whole fucking years. “We’re best friends. Fabian and the Ball.” He cocks his head. “Is that why you weren’t talking to me? You thought…what, that I would brush you off?”

Fabian’s fingers are shaking where Riz is holding them. “Yeah,” he lies through his teeth, looking at Riz’s mouth and wishing, dreaming, holding the words under his tongue. “Yeah. That.”

Riz looks at him for a moment. Fabian sways in place – for a moment he thinks he’s not gonna be able to stop himself, that he’s going to lean forward and press his mouth against Riz’s, chapped and wet, and ruin everything, right now, at his friends’ wedding. And he cannot let himself do that. He cannot.

“Wanna dance?” Fabian blurts out, and then winces.

Riz blinks. He lets Fabian’s hand drop – looks over to where Ayda is patiently attempting to teach Fig a square dance. He looks back and grins. “…yeah.”

He’s the one who asked, but Fabian blinks. “What? You – I thought you hated dancing.”

Riz arches an eyebrow. “You asked.”

“I know! I just – I figured you would, like. I don’t know. Start complaining about it. And then we’d – “ He makes a gesture to the table, which means nothing, but which he feels certain Riz will understand.

Riz pushes out of his chair and walks around so that he’s on Fabian’s other side. “Shoot the shit?” he guesses, and Fabian nods. “Okay, but hear me out. What if I told you I don’t hate dancing anymore?”

Fabian squints at him. “…I’d call bullshit.”

“And I’d say you should let me prove it.” He bows, deep and mocking, offers his hand. He tilts his head up to grin up at Fabian, glasses sliding to the end of his nose, and in that moment he is goofy and charming and absolutely, heart wrenchingly gorgeous. “So – dance with me?”

Fabian stares for a moment before the laugh bubbles up. He’s shaking his head as he stands up, smile still plastered on as Riz straightens with him. “Sure,” he smiles, and he can keep it from being lovestruck but he can’t keep his gaze from being fond, resting on Riz with a softness reserved for him alone. “Sure. But when you don’t know the moves – “

“I know the moves,” Riz promises, taking Fabian’s hand and leading him onto the dance floor. They arrive and he smiles, bashful, looks down.

“I like dancing when it’s with you,” Riz whispers.

**Author's Note:**

> title from the song size too small by sufjan stevens.
> 
> catch me on tumblr @riz-gukgak for more pining nonsense!


End file.
